We had a brief memorial for my aunt Midge over Labor Day weekend. It is stunning to me to think that 9 months have passed without her on this earth. In some ways I am getting used to the idea of her absence, but in other ways, the loss gets greater as day after day and event after event pass without her.
Her niece Maureen captured my feelings so beautifully at the service. I can't do her words justice, but the idea was: just because we go on with life, laugh, have fun, does not mean that we miss you any less. There is still a huge hole that we cannot fill and those moments of joy are bittersweet because you are not here to share them.
There are so many times when I want to call or visit to check in, to get advice, or just to chat. Although I may be learning to live with it, that feeling of absence does not go away.
The memorial did have a silver lining. I spent time getting to know family and friends of Midge's, some of whom I had met briefly over the years, but most of whom I barely knew. Each time I see them, I understand more and more why Midge loved them so much. Being all together in the house that she and my uncle shared for so many years made me feel that she was still very much a part of our lives. As my uncle said at the service, one of the beautiful things that she left behind was the love for each of us and the community that it created.
Midge's niece Linda wanted to make sure that anyone who wanted a tangible remembrance of Midge could have one. She set out all of Midge's jewelry, and we all chose something to wear or just to cherish. Linda also found Midge's recipes and set them out for us. I loved that! Most of the recipes were for party dishes, dips, spreads or pot luck dishes that could turn an ordinary evening into a celebration. Very appropriate since Midge made the party wherever she went.
For some reason, this simple recipe jumped out at me. It's a simple cheese spread. The ricotta and herbs have a fresh bright flavor and the feta adds just the perfect touch of flavor. I've modified the ratio of ingredients a bit, but left Midge's original directions which are perfect in their simplicity.
Our children loved the spread as a dip or spread, but when I made sandwiches with it for school, two out of three came back uneaten. I guess dips are just more fun.
Midge would have known that.
Second Helping: Grilled New Potatoes
Thirds: Harvest Vegetable Tart with Parmesan Crust
Herbed Ricotta-Feta Spread
The dip can easily be made ahead, and may be even better made ahead because some sitting time gives the flavors a chance to develop. It will keep in the refrigerator for a few days.
Makes about 2 cups
15 minutes preparation time, plus time for chilling
1 cup ricotta
3/4 cup crumbled feta
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/4 cup chopped herbs such as parsley, thyme, and/or dill
1 tablespoon chopped chives or scallions
Mash all of the ingredients together with a fork. Chill for 30 minutes. Great on dark rye with tomato slices and sprouts.
Oh Margy, I wish that my feelings of love for you and for all that you are, could give you some comfort. It is sad to see the one's we love leave this world, they will always remain in our hearts and mind f o r e v e r.
I love that you chose her hand written recipe,in this cyber world we live in, seeing the curves and movements of her hand, adds warmth to the heart.
Much love to you, sweet Margy..
Posted by: eva | September 21, 2011 at 10:51 AM
My dearly beloved dad also died last fall and although we bravely carried on, there's an incredible heaviness as the anniversary approaches. So glad to stumble across your post and share the burden with you and yours, if only thru cyberspace. Will make a batch of herb dip later today and feel connected to the great universal cycles. Take good care.
Posted by: Tammi | September 22, 2011 at 12:36 PM
I plan to try this... Could have used it this past Sunday... and when my brother was in town for the Miami-MD game! Yum. Margy, your beautiful post reminds me of the memorial service for my childhood best friend's mom in the late 1990's. She had served countless bowls of her pasta fagioli to all of her friends and family. At my bridal shower in 1988, she had gathered all the ingredients and lovingly wrote down the recipe on a card to accompany them, and presented it as a gift. At her memorial, I left copies of that recipe by the guest book, and people were delighted to discover it, written in her hand, with loving voice instructing me how to make it.
Posted by: DeeDee | September 22, 2011 at 01:26 PM
Hi Margy,
More tears but in a good way, I started to read it and then when I realized it was her recipe I was so touched. She would have loved it! I am here with Linda and we miss and love you.
Maureen
Posted by: Maureen & Linda | September 24, 2011 at 07:29 PM
You captured what Midge had because you have it too -- in spades. Thank you so much, dear Margy.
Posted by: Mary | September 24, 2011 at 08:59 PM
You captured what Midge had because you have it too -- in spades. Thank you so much, dear Margy.
Posted by: Mary | September 24, 2011 at 08:59 PM