Last year's food-related resolution was to have a meal together every day and we almost made it. This year, I had a different idea, a silver lining kind of idea.
As I have mentioned, this past year was a tough one for us. We lost two women that we loved very much, my aunt, Midge, and our dear friend, Anita. There have been so many times when I have sat down to write a post that I have wanted to write about them, but I haven't found a way to do it that feels adequate. This space just doesn't seem sufficient to capture all that they have meant to me, and it certainly isn't big enough to convey the impact that they have had on so many lives. I did write about my aunt Midge here, although it breaks my heart to read this post. I was so foolishly optimistic, so naive.
For now, I will just say that both of these women were so full of life that I still cannot believe that they no longer walk the earth. Anita had a laugh that I can still hear, and I most often think of her telling a hilarious story, listening with an "I am stunned" expression on her face, or laughing that remarkable laugh. I wish I were half as good a friend and mother as she was.
Midge set the bar for aunts, and she set it very high. She and my uncle, Jay, have 28 nieces and nephews and 60-something great nieces and nephews and she had a relationship with every single one of us. She made a point of talking to each of us, checking in, connecting every time that we saw her. She did it in such a way that each of felt that we had a special bond with her. And we did.
The loss of these two treasures has left a huge hole in our lives and in those of so many others that cherished them as we did. Even as I write this now, I am frustrated by the sense that I have reduced each of these amazing women to a few words, and I hate that. But I also know that I could go on and on and still not capture all that I want to say about them. Please forgive my stumbling through this.
It may sound trite, but their loss has also reminded me how much I treasure the relationships in my life. I want to nurture my relationships with my nieces and nephews, sisters, brother, parents, and friends, and I am inspired by Midge and Anita to create opportunities to do that.
So came the Sunday Supper idea. I am so so lucky to have my sister living a couple of blocks away, along with a friend who feels like a sister to me (and she's a redhead so we look a bit alike, too). My parents are a couple of miles away, too, which is wonderful.
And yet, it is hard for all of us to get together often. We do see each other, but it's usually some subset of us, and it is not always over a meal. We used to get together frequently for weeknight dinners, but as all of our children have gotten older, their schedules have gotten more complicated. Suddenly those opportunities have dwindled.
On the plus side, now that the children are older and more self-sufficient, I have more time and energy for cooking. So this year, we are having the entire clan for Sunday supper once a month. We've already had our suppers for the first three months and it has been like having Thanksgiving every month instead of once a year. I have loved watching little moments of connection, of giggles, of peace.
Midge and Anita, thank you for this last gift that you have given us. I just wish that you were here to share it.
We do Sunday dinner every week rotating whose turn it is. (My sister and cousin both live 40 minutes away--in opposite directions.) There really is a wonderful connection that you make over dinner. I just wish my future brother-in-law weren't so picky!
Posted by: Anna | March 24, 2011 at 08:42 AM
Another idea (borrowed from another friend) that keep trying to do is to use the heirloom dishes on Sundays. I have a fun "fall" colored set that I can remember eating off of at my grandmother's. Last summer we cleaned out my mother-in-law's mother's/grandmother's house and now I have a nice summery set that came from that side.
Posted by: Carey | March 24, 2011 at 11:04 AM
Anita lived her life loving family, friends, and, of course, good food. I can think of no lovelier tribute than this, Margy. Sunday dinner is a perfect way to honor her spirit and keep her close.
Posted by: Katherine Schroder | March 24, 2011 at 02:20 PM
Thanks for this memory of Midge
Posted by: Sally | March 25, 2011 at 10:27 AM
Oh you ARE soooooo soooo lucky!! It would be my dream to have my sister and friend live blocks away and my parents within a few miles. Sunday suppers with the whole family is a fabulous idea!!
Posted by: Julia | March 30, 2011 at 12:21 AM
What a great idea. Not much can beat Sunday dinner with family. Everyone looks great.
Posted by: Cousin John | April 03, 2011 at 08:49 PM